"Why didn't they say anything before now?"
First, let's address the obvious: people really shouldn't
assume that's the case--that victims of sexual assault
and harassment haven't said anything before now. They
might, in fact, not have held a press conference or released
an official statement, but that's not the same as 'not having
spoken up.'
Or maybe they did say something, 'officially,' that got
ignored like all of these 'claims' and 'accusations' have
been for decades. Their stories buried at the back of the
newspaper, or reported on as absurdity and their character
attacked as their claims were dismissed. Or perhaps they
received no coverage at all as people ignored what
was happening completely.
People did speak up.
When you start searching the web for stories about
certain actors, producers, senators, Presidents, take a
close look at when the earliest mentions are. When the
lawsuits were filed or settled. Pay attention to the mentions
of earlier charges or stories surfacing about the same
person. They're out there.
And look at the articles that are readily available on some
of the current perpetrators hiding in plain sight--the ones
that producers and executives and networks and studios
are not casting out and distancing themselves from.
(Note: Just in the time since I started writing this piece,
DC Comics issued a statement regarding Berganza being
suspended, and coverage generally makes it sound that
this is some swift response to new allegations. It's not.
Check the date of the original article --linked above--and
read the detail of when complaints first emerged. These
companies are only trying to run P.R. on this. And, he has
not been fired. For all we know, this is just a smokescreen
to tame the protesters who were calling for action.)
Anthony Edwards' recent revealing piece about his serial
abuse at hands of Gary Goddard was shocking to the public but
Goddard's long-term abuse was rampant in the industry, and
known by many. They hide in plain sight--because power and
privilege have allowed them to do so. Because people have
allowed them to do so. Never underestimate the evil that is done
in the name of protecting money.
But back to the most important matter at hand; the survivors
of the abuse. Those who were lucky enough to survive, at least,
because not everyone is so lucky. The connection between
are frightening. And that doesn't take into account the suicide
attempts by people we don't know about having suffered abuse,
it doesn't take into account the emotional and physical hell
of dealing with the fallout of abuse, and it doesn't address the
myriad of other self-destructive behaviors and coping tools
that victims who can't make sense out of what happened to
them suffer.
And all the while, predators and perpetrators go on,
oblivious and care-free, succeeding and not considering
their actions. (And truthfully, if some feel excessive guilt
and shame over what they did, it matters not one iota.)
But people did speak up, Roy Moore.
People did tell what happened to them. I'm speaking to
you oh-so-religious GOP members who
defend and cover up for sexual predators like Dennis Hastert.
Many told friends and family. They told spouses in efforts
to explain why there were issues between them. People were
told, and it's insensitive to assume that they were not.
But what do you do when police are not interested, and don't
take your accusations seriously? Or what about the fact that
police are also responsible for their own covered-up assaults?
What about the bosses who cover it up, worried about the
brand being tarnished or a company's liability, legally? The
fear of bad public relations is of concern to people far more
than the well-being of those in their care (see also 'Catholic
Church,' 'Southern Baptists,' 'Scientology.')
There is a definitive atmosphere of maintained silence that
surrounds sexual abuse. We as a society have formed it, fostered it,
reinforced it, and all the while keeping mum about even the
details of doing so. Because it isn't just the victims who were quiet;
It's the people who knew something but said nothing. It's the
people who glossed over it, said it was none of their business,
didn't want to "ruin a 'good' man." It's the concern for the
welfare of wealthy, powerful citizens over the welfare
of the most vulnerable among us.
The victims knew.
The perpetrators knew.
The people who covered up for the perpetrators knew.
There's the matter of fear being a factor in keeping people
silent when there hasn't been open discussion. Fear of loss of
an income, fear of physical retaliation, fear of a ruined reputation,
fear of being blamed for what happened, and just plain fear of
something that is so deeply personal and disgusting being made
a public matter so that people are discussing it and debating it
and critiquing things like 'what they should have done in response
to their own sexual assault.'
Silence also results from trauma. People block out or ignore
what is too painful to process or deal with directly. No one
likes to think about horrible, uncomfortable things. Think
about perhaps a time when you noticed something on your
body--a nodule or blemish--and kept brushing it off because
you didn't want to consider the implications of what it meant.
Trauma affects everyone differently. Every single survivor of
sexual abuse/assault is their own unique individual self, and
there are as many different ways to respond to it as there are
people who have lived through it. And there are equally numerous
means of how people are abused; It isn't a cookie-cutter pattern.
So there are a lot of factors behind such a seemingly simple
question as 'Why don't people speak up sooner?' but the bottom
line is that it's no one else's business nor is it their place to
judge. A survivor's job is not to worry about trying to meet
the demands of armchair detectives and voyeurs.
Silence on the matter is a natural phenomenon, and not, as the
squeamish (or is it just cynical?) would have us believe, 'proof'
that nothing happened.
We live in a rape culture. That isn't just a buzz word. It isn't
some new faddish tagline produced by millennials. We're just
now getting to a place in our society where we are experiencing
true transparency and willingness to broach these matters that
have always been with us. What once was considered 'business
as usual' is now understood to be unacceptable, and as people feel
empowered to assert that what was done to them was wrong, we
will continue to see people come forward.
And the amount of time since the occurrence of abuse should
not matter. The doubting of accusers based on the length of time
it's been since they were attacked is another example of rape
culture; A deflection of the wrong-doing itself and severity of
actions, and a focus on blaming the victim and discrediting him
or her.
This IS rape culture: We are a society that has heard case after case
after case of rapes--they've filled our headlines for years--and the
reaction has been pitifully tepid. It's become such a regular event
that we have become as desensitized to it as we have mass shootings.
If it's someone's silence you want to be concerned with, focus on
modern American society's desire to block out an epidemic of rape
behavior and accept it as the 'new normal.'
Another high profile case in recent years that was reported on
the same way one would discuss wedding plans was the court case
of Kesha and 'Dr. Luke.' There was no outrage, no discussion of
the prevalence of assaults in the music industry, nothing but dry
reports on it as business of the day.
Here are just a few other accurate reflections of what a rape
culture looks like.
And it just goes on and on and on--from dropped cases to
intimidation of claimants to inappropriate comments from
dinosaur judges to ridiculously weak rulings and sentences
even when rape is clearly proven.
This doesn't even touch on the G.O.P and their infatuation
with women's uteri and what needs to happen with them
in regards to rape. Laws granting women's rapists rights as
a father? Are you fucking kidding me? This is not a plot from
a movie but it is surely a horror show. And these insane laws
get passed, all the time. Normalized. Just another day.
That, is rape culture.
Silence is maintained in service to maintaining a career, out
of pure desperation and need for financial security. In all
arenas of power (entertainment, government, church, etc)
the communities are very connected. And if you get blacklisted
or blackballed by a powerful person because you dared to try
and out them as a predator, that's it--game over. One phone
call or leaked comment to the press can ruin everything. That's
the power of connected people.
And that fear of retribution isn't just financial, nor is it an invalid,
imagined fear. Beyond "You'll never work in this town again!"
intimidation is the real and frightening pattern of physical threats
that have been proven to be the stock in trade of powerful people.
Like the Fox News scandals showed us in intimate
detail, there is often an elaborate machine in place that's
designed to suppress these stories and attack the victim.
It's not paranoia if the White House Press Secretary,
in flagrant disregard of the law, uses their position to trash
women who are accusing a sitting President of sexual abuse.
(more to follow....)
