"Why didn't they say anything before now?" part One

Several years back, Hollywood received an opening salvo in the
arena of their most-recent sexual abuse scandals as the allegations 
of sexual assaults against Bill Cosby and charges of pedophilia
against Stephen Collins were made public. (Collins was actually
caught on tape confessing and later admitted to 3 occurrences--
Cosby has always denied. See links for more detailed stories.)

Then we had the (not-surprising) revelations and accusations
against Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes brought in lawsuits alleging
not only a long and sordid history of abuse, but a workplace
which fostered and covered for such behavior.

And how could any of us forget how America elected (but
not by the popular vote--or perhaps even legally) the
Rapist-in-Chief, Donald J. Trump, even after a year and a half
of being exposed to his misogyny, lewd remarks, secret tapes
about 'pussy-grabbing,' and a litany of reports about sexual
assaults on women and girls?  NPR: A Full List of Accusers 

So, despite the Harvey Weinstein 'allegations' being the decidedly
watershed moment where the floodgates of "Enough is Enough"
did truly open, we the people were getting softened up for the
blow of just how many secrets Hollywood has. And although
more attention will be paid to Hollywood because of America's 
love affair with movies, escapism, fantasy, and mock-relationships
with people they read about in tabloids, the epidemic of sexual
abuse in the workplace occurs across the board.

Anywhere you have people in a position of power, you can expect 
that people are going to abuse that power. Some say "People are 
basically good at heart." I say 'bullshit.' People will try and get away
with exactly as much as they think they can get away with. So it
stands to reason that those in positions of power and privilege are
going to go hog-wild. (Just an observation, not a promotion.)

But here's where the next part of the story comes into play:
The public's response to the allegations (or as I prefer to
call them, revelations. I've only heard two people call for
'calm and restraint' in responding to these reports of abuse;
one being Woody Allen, a known pedophile/incester, and
Jeremy Piven, who is long-known for shady stuff and does
clearly 'protest too much.' His shit will be laid bare soon 
enough, I'm sure.)

The public seems genuinely surprised at several things.
* First is the shock at seeing a star they like, "Fill-in-the-blank,"
accused of something so heinous. 

* Then there is the sheer volume of the accusations that are
being leveled. (Hint: This is only the tip of the iceberg.) 
Certainly people--men in particular--are astonished at the
notion that this is such a widespread problem. (The plus side 
of it, for lack of a better phrase, being that visibility and
transparency have finally given survivors a foothold to 
speak out against this evil, and to feel connected. Now they
know they aren't alone in what was done to them. Social 
media finally contributed to the world!)

* Next is the inevitable partisan bullshit that has flared up as
people try and make even sexual assault, harassment, and 
rape about what someone's politics are. (Unless you're an 
Alabama Republican judge who raped a 14-year-old girl--
then the GOPers give a free pass!) More on Roy Moore 

* People are also confused by how widespread behavior
could go on unnoticed...and why someone didn't stop it 
once it was known. This whole 'open secret' thing has a 
lot of folks scratching their heads as they play armchair
whistle-blower. "Well that never would have happened 
on my watch!" (More on the culture of silence and tacit
complicity later.)

But the Number One question people seem to have on 
their minds in response to the tragic nature of these
revelations is simple, direct, and very telling:

"Why didn't he say anything before now?"

"Why didn't she say anything before now?"

"Why didn't they say anything before now?"

Not in a Fox News, innuendo-filled, victim-blaming,
heartless code for 'oh they must be liars' sort of way.
Just a genuine inability to relate and comprehend 
something as a disconnected party viewing the matter
with none of the emotional skin in the game.

And it's a valid question, albeit with a complex 
answer. I'll delve into that in detail next.

****************************************

'Party of Lincoln' My Left Nut!

Perv Alert

The ridiculous old standby for 'educating' kids about potential
molesters; the notion of creepy strangers in vans trying to grab them
off the street.

Not much has changed when it comes to the public's notion

about child molesters. Most still think--and teach their

kids--that the people who will harm their kids have a

certain look and way about them.

"Stranger Danger," and all that.

Meanwhile, in reality, nothing could be further

from the truth.

Most child molesters are from within the immediate

household, within the immediate family, or from

within the immediate innermost circle of friends,

family and neighbors. Trusted folks.

That's their 'in.'

The reason we don't see more of those folks

convicted is that parents, grandparents,

social services, and especially the church rally

behind a wicked notion of keeping families intact

(and therefore not pressing charges, nor getting

counseling for the child) rather than seeing anyone

prosecuted or punished.

Compliance, and cover-up, is big.

So when I see idiots giving me the once-over

simply because I'm gay, I roll my eyes in contempt.

There is still a knee-jerk connection in people's

heads relating sexuality to abusiveness.

Old myths and prejudices die hard.

Sorry; isn't me, never has been, never will be.

But meanwhile the real perpetrators go unchecked.

Even the tactics used to 'combat' child abuse

are focused on finding out where existing

abusers live and avoiding those areas and people.

The focus needs to be on teaching kids how

to spot potential abuse and stave it off from any

source. Because it's likely going to be someone

in a position of authority and influence who seduces

them into being a victim, and furthermore keeping

quiet about it.

Stop blanketing heterosexuals with a Free

Pass of assumed safety and reliability.

Sickness comes in all shapes and sizes, and it will

generally be someone you  don't suspect. A

favorite uncle, a sports coach, a Sunday School

teacher, a day care worker, a grandparent,

a parent, a sibling, etc.

Unpleasant realities to face, but what's more

important? Your sense of comfort, or your child's

actual safety?

In Seminole County, Georgia (Donalsonville,)
you can find a list of convicted sex offenders

hanging at the courthouse, or online at

Seminole County Sex Offenders Registry

and I suppose that's useful information,

but it does cause a bit of a false sense of

security, doesn't it?

Doesn't it just seem like those are The People to be

 concerned about, disregarding all the

multitude of uncaught, unprosecuted, unrevealed

child rapists running around this town?

I know for a fact people wanting to keep their

kids safe need to avoid the following places:

DFACS,

The Lion's Club,

Friendship United Methodist Church,

Alcoholics Anonymous,

Al-Anon,

Narcotics Anonymous,

the Fire Department (or really, anywhere

you might be likely to see Victor Hornsby,)

and plenty more.

What you get away with tends to be

dependent on who you know,

who you are, and how important

you are to the 'right' people.

Our society excuses and covers for the ills

of the rich what we condemn and shame

in the poor.

Teach your children to use their minds,

to observe everything objectively.

Teach them skepticism and discernment,

and most importantly courage and their

right to protect themselves.

They aren't advanced enough to perceive that

threats can come from anywhere unless

they're taught. Use that as a reason

to educate them, not to keep them

in the dark.

***