Showing posts with label elite. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elite. Show all posts

Friday, May 17, 2013

Redundancies and Revisitations: "Church Hags"



Ol' Marfa

By way of introduction to my retreading old shit--
by which I mean walking a mud hole on some old shits--
let's first revisit Friendship United Methodist Church in
sunny Donalsonville, Georgia...once more the origin point
for some First Class, Grade A, Evil Hags from Hell.

(Did you happen to notice the painters on the cherry-pickers
a few weeks back? Yup--putting a new paint job on all the
white paint on the joint. That's right--gotta make sure it
stays niceeeee and white....don't want that fading!)

L'il Beth
So, there is a "Seminole Woman's Club" here in town.
No, not a "women's" club...a "woman's" club. And
since there's nothing else to do around here, my poor
old mother asked as to how to join the club, since all the
members of her book club are also engaged in this "woman's"
club (since the membership of every group in town is essentially
made up of the same dozen or so old biddies.)

First, one hag calls over another hag to 'answer her question
more thoroughly.' That leads to her being given some bullshit
answer about how the group doesn't always meet at the library,
so that might be confusing. (Well, bitch, no one asked where
they met--so obviously you're the confused one.)

Then another witch gets called over, buck passed.
This one says the meeting room capacity is only 36,
and that's how many members they currently have.

Well, uh...WRONG for starters; the library meeting room
has a capacity of like 200 people. Of course, the same bitches
that are in this club are also on the library board, so....
(You know they have to have their nose in every damned
bit of business!)


Ohhh! Classy! Elitism--a white woman problem.

So then yet another 'member' gets pulled over to hem and haw
some more to both my mother and another non-native outsider
who has also expressed interest in the group and its meetings.

This last one explains that the group is exclusively comprised
of church members of the Friendship United Methodist Church
and therefore someone who isn't a member couldn't possibly join!

To which Moms inquired in astonishment, alongside the
other newbie, "How is anyone supposed to get to know
anyone if you have to already be involved to be allowed to join?!?"
Well, obviously, that was 'Tough Titty, Miss Kitty' blow-off time for
these fumbling retards who poo-pooed the whole thing and trailed
off to their next meeting of some grand importance.

(Whew! Crisis averted; non-believers and lesser-knowns
avoided at all costs!)

What exactly is it about this delusional bunch of old bitches that
makes them think their shit doesn't stink? What are the particulars
of their very obvious problems?

Cuz here's a newsflash for 'em if'n they hadn't figured it out;
Y'all from little old hole-in-the-wall, Georgia, Population: Dropping
Fast Like Flies. A dollar extra in your bank account and your nose
up in the air do NOT qualify you as anything more than insane elitist
snobs. It doesn't give you the basis for elitism...no matter how much
exclusivity you surround yourselves with.



Patti-Cake

Most of these old bats are so close to being in the ground, or going
back into their sarcophagi with their dusty decrepit bandages, I guess
they won't be changing their ways. And the bottom line is this: if
THAT'S what the group is comprised of, then certainly no one else
wants in to begin with! Thanks for the heads up!

So, the only question is--since these old hags have phased themselves
out, who will be willing to start up an inclusive REAL Women's Club
of the Seminole County area....one that isn't a bunch of stuck up old
dinosaurs looking to fake relevance by exerting their small town 'power'
over their intellectual and character-filled superiors?

Step up.

(Oh, and is the county-funded library actually allowed
to house groups whose membership is not open to the
public, or that practice exclusivity based on certain
prerequisites? I guess that means the KKK can hold their
meetings there, too! Never mind--I guess they already do.)

**************************************************

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

A Real Comedian


Well, a joke of a record when it comes to equality, at least!

Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up?
And not as a failed stand-up comedian, thank you very much.
And certainly not as a stand-up guy.

A proudly peacocking bully and anti-gay prick,
whom we already know partook in at least one violent attack
of humiliation and abuse on a student perceived as gay.

Lip service is nothing; actions speak volumes.

Friday, September 21, 2012

The Whitest Guys in the Room


No...No, that's NOT a compliment.

'Dumb and Dumber' are hitting their stride by
continuing to delineate just how hapless and lacking of
real plans they are.

Relatable?
Only to the increasingly schizoid Republican front,
and their gang of armed, delusional, wealthy, elitist
goons seeking to control and devalue the rest of us.

"Thanks...but no fucking thanks."

***

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Love Us From Afar

Friendship United Methodist Church Lack-of-Outreach Program

Announcement: For Immediate Release

Friendship...
for the designated, privileged few!

Where the crusty, white elite meet to
feign superiority and talk shit
about the 'unwashed masses.'

Come get your Fake Jesus on, today!
(Pending the meeting of basic requirements!)

Non-white, poor, gay,
liberal and other outsiders please
don't apply.
But you can come receive our
rude, smug, condescending
'charity' every third Saturday.
Only.
Exclusively.
Don't get it twisted;
the pretense of compassion
and love has a very strict schedule
around here.

The open door policy is good for
one day only, and we have
plenty of high quality, self-righteous
mouthpieces and gate-keepers on the
premises to make sure unwanted elements
know their place.

We're wonderful, we know it,
and we're very discriminating in our
efforts to preserve our high-faluting standards.

Jesus saved us, and we're
saving him for ourselves.
At least, that's what those weird voices in our
heads tell us!

Admire us as you drive by!

*****




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