Maybe I, too, am hostage to my views and mindset
regarding money. Maybe my lower self-esteem dictates
how little I pursue the almighty buck, and how I live
my life.
I know goals and plans are essential to becoming a
success most times, but they also are not guarantees.
Does my discomfort with money lead me to lack a drive
that is needed even for basic survival? Because our ability
to survive is directly linked in this world. That works real
well for everybody so long as they are themselves above
water.
Is that the key to some people's lavish surroundings?
Deny and ignore the beast at the door? Distract from the
reality that poverty is a possibility for anyone, with just
a flip of a switch and a few bad breaks? A platinum
parachute against the worry of being out of control in
this world? A beautiful illusion?
I've always felt I was "okay" with just sustainability;
being able to survive, neither worried about financial
success or being driven and consumed by it. But now I
realize that this thinking may have cursed me...set my
expectations low and kept my potential shackled.
I still have one primary goal, no matter how simple it
may seem; self-sufficiency.
Everyone would of course prefer to debate the inherent
ills of money from a point of prosperity, making the
philosophy of the matter sport, not resentments. We'd all
rather 'have' than 'not have.'
It takes money to make money, though. Seed money,
investment money, start-up money, promotion money.
Breaks on fees and fines. Friends in high places. Sometimes
friends in low places. Money for when things go wrong.
Money to expand and grow.
It takes money to maintain things too. Money to have lawns
cared for professionally. Have driveways pressure-washed.
To keep cars repaired and property insured. It takes money
to keep things neat and beautiful and shiny.
It also takes confidence to make things go. Confidence in
promoting your stuff, your self, your ideas. The ability to
see into strangers and friends and know what to say to get
what you want. Not everyone has this, nor the understanding
of how to develop it. Again, having 'what it takes' can be a very
arbitrary thing.
I can see positives and negatives to always being hungry
and driven. It's great to have survival skills, but you also can't
go back in time and enjoy more quiet time. You can't go back
and connect with people once they're gone. We determine how
fully we touch the lives of those around us with every decision
we make. You can make a choice to provide for your loved ones
or to be with your loved ones. This world is a little fast-paced to
be able to have your cake and eat it too.
The idea of enjoying time by spending money is not anathema
to me. I aspire to have some things and have the freedom of
a little money. But the wealthy tend not to share their secrets.
Rather than give a tidbit, they maintain that air of detachedness.
Maybe it's like hot dog ingredients; we're better off not knowing
what's going on in there.
Personally, I'd rather learn to do for myself than live vicariously
through others. Teach me to fish rather than give me one. But a
lot of people like glomming onto people with money, getting the
advantages by osmosis. But I bet you anyone who has a rich friend
is jealous as hell and envious all the time. Which may not bother the
rich person, since if they're an egotist, they are getting a surge from
the one-upmanship anyway.
(to be continued)....
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