Saturday, August 6, 2011

Cluster Pluck Central



I never cease to be amazed at the bottom-scraping abilities of
government agencies. It seems like they are determined to fill
the bureaucratic ranks with candidates that induce much
head-scratching and confusion as to how said candidates became
employed, and, certainly, how they stay employed.

The local library has borrowed a troll from some unfortunate
(now-unprotected) bridge and refuses to give it back.

A certain postal worker continuously can't get the right mail in
the right boxes, but brags about his steep salary.

The local D.A. has petitioned to legally change the meaning
of his position's initials to "Dumb Ass."

DFACS....Census workers.....(Dear sweet Jesus hanging on
the cross....it's really too much like shooting fish in a barrel.)

At the heart of all the enmity is my jealousy...I admit it.

I can't GET a job for love or money...but nincompoops and
troglodytes abound in government positions.

Where's mine?

I do hereby contend and attest that I can and will:
* Show up late
* Take multiple days off
* Work at a snail's pace
* Learn to say "Not my job," "Not my problem,"
   and "Wrong department" in my sleep
* Sneer condescendingly
* Have bad hygiene
* Complain about my job while on the clock
* Act disgusted to have to actually work
* Ignore people seeking assistance
* Refuse to learn any aspect of my job

See? I'm qualified!
Where do I sign up?

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