I was checking messages on the phone and then I heard it.
My stomach imploded as the cold, withered hand of Satan crawled
up my asshole to accompany the Deliverance-banjo-themed screech
of the 700 Club owner telling me of 'God's graces.'
The moron who blamed gays and anti-abortionists for the September
11th attacks...telling ME about God. Offering for HIM to pray for MY
soul. The guy who blames natural disasters on Democratic presidents
and gay rights. This knuckle-dragging ignoramus has something to
offer me?
The One Who Shall Remain Nameless lest he wrest my soul was
on the recording, selling whomever was unfortunate enough to hear
of how great his god was. Well, for starters, if he's allowing you to
present his message to the world, one things for certain; either you're
doing the work of the wrong guy, or he ain't fer reals!
Because failed Presidential candidate Robertson is a scheming, lying,
nut bag with delusions of grandeur and a hate-streak a mile long.
I want everyone with a clue and a conscience to take a moment
and pick up the phone...maybe while fixing dinner or doing dishes,
when you have a minute to be left on hold while you wait for an
operator. Call Pat's Prayer Buddies line and clog it up so they can't
bilk any more old ladies out of their pensions.
The number is 1-800-759-0700
And when they answer, tell them you DO want to have them take
a prayer request. The request is;
A) That Pat find a soul.
B) That Pat get a clue.
C) That Pat grow a beating heart.
and D) That Pat actually met the real Jesus and learn something.
Enough with the charlatans and clowns.
And please...do pass this on to ALL your friends.
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