The Oldest Medicine

"Shall we rub wood tonight?"

It's really seeming quite obvious that the solution to
many of today's problems is that Not Nearly Enough
People Are Getting Laid!


It's just a fact; don't worry about the tact!

You got to hit it and split it.

It's the most natural thing in the world.
It doesn't matter if you're in a wheelchair,
a double amputee, a late-blooming virgin,
a religious fanatic, a prude, devoutly monogamous,
afraid of interaction, grieving, or otherwise
distracted and uncertain.....
there is NOTHING wrong that a good
ole' fashioned 'Ho-down Throw-down can't cure.

You have to be safe.
You have to be mutual.
You have to be kind.
Otherwise, what grown folks do in the privacy
  of their boudoirs ain't nobody's business.

And if you don't like it, then honey there MUST
be something wrong with you. Either you don't
know what you're doing, or who you're with don't know.
But don't get it twisted; there's nothing wrong with sex.

It's a glorious thing; cures bad moods, bad
attitudes, helps reduce weight, clears up acne,
enhances esteem, great cardio workout, relieves
stress, increases the peace, keeps the tubes clean,
and so much more!

It helps you forget about money problems...
(unless you're having to pay for it, of course!)

Long as your responsibilities are met, you
can be as big a Freak as ya want ta!

Hey, it beats whooping an ass and going to jail
ANY day!

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NOTE: This writer takes no responsibility for
falls, sprains, or other action-related injuries that
may result from following this advice.
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