The Other Side of Bullying

I'm all for putting a stop to people being allowed to get away
with abusing the smaller or the weaker or the less popular.


I think the LOnnnnnnGGGGG overdue attention to
institutionalized bullying that has prospered in schools
in particular is splendid.


I think verbalizing that bullying is wrong is terrific.


But I think the approach of this campaign is all wrong.


Instead of legislating and dictating and bringing forth flimsy
apologies from wretched oppressors, why not a different
tactic?


I think the focus needs to be on truly empowering the
underdogs. Not just sound bites. Not just groovy community
efforts. Real, effective, long term strategies.


Teaching and training people how to stand tall and truly
look out for themselves and stand up to oppression.


Because assholes and brutes are nothing new.
They've always been around, and the problem isn't entirely
 them, it's that we've gotten soft in dealing with them.

We live in a fantasy and entertainment-based and soft culture
where self-defense and engaging in conflict are taught as 'bad
things.' In truth, they're merely part of life. You can't eliminate
jerks; we have to teach kids self-sufficiency and inner strength.

(Now, again, not talking about institutionalized bullying. When
principals and teachers and faculty and other parents are part
of the abuse--as I endured first hand some 20 years ago at
several high schools--then help is required. Intervention is
a necessity. But we can't whitewash the world of all random
people who don't like us and are ugly hearted. Not with good
intentions, education, or campaigns.)


We have not taught our Invisible gay and lesbian children (and
all ostracized and outsider kids, truly) to be bold and speak up
against horseshit. Like Dr. King pointed out, the law and those
in charge are not always meant to be followed.


I think the answer is to teach self defense. Teach
esteem. Teach taking power back from those who would
deny it. There won't always be a big strong brother or
protector. We have to learn to do for self.

With things getting worse economically, I imagine
we're actually going to see an increase in the bullying and
craziness.


Pricks will always be a part of this world. Pricks in power.
Pricks at school. Pricks in churches. Pricks in homes.
Pricks at workplaces. Pricks as neighbors. Pricks as police.


We have to teach the inner strength and resistance that the
world has doubly-domesticated OUT of our gay and lesbian
kids. They have to know they have not only the right and ability
to fight back, but the responsibility.

It's a time for teaching action and conflict resolution, whatever
that might entail. Why is there a double-standard about
physical violence? If it's good for the goose...

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